“Did you ever have to make up your mind…it’s not often easy and not often kind, did you ever have to make up your mind?” – Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind, The Lovin’ Spoonful (1966)

I take a crack at the Bigfoot possibilities as we end our trek with nine final, alliterative and descriptive words, followed by my personal vision of how I’d like to see the mystery play out.

Myth – Folklore is fun and fascinating but science rules the day in my book. There is enough wonder in the workings of nature without having to invoke fairies, nymphs or various deities to explain the spectacle. And while it is attention getting to find a fictional guardian of the great outdoors (Bigfoot as Smokey Bear) it’s still up to us to get our act together in the end when managing our natural resources. This in turn will help to preserve those places off the beaten path where at least the possibility of legend can live on.

Monster – Mankind seems to need a bogeyman. But just as there’s nothing hiding under the bed or behind the closet door, perhaps there’s no furry giant lurking in the woods. Such tales simply continue to keep kids in their beds, a modern equivalent of preventing adventurous youngsters from wandering too far from the campfire in the old days (certainly would’ve worked on me). Besides, pick up the paper, turn on the tube, dial in your radio or check the internet and you’ll find that there is more “monster” in our own kind than ever reported about those mysterious hairy beasts. Sadly, the “-kind” portion of “mankind” or “humankind” doesn’t universally apply to our species.

Misidentification – Rene Dahinden once said, “I wouldn’t believe my own eyes” in regards to having a Bigfoot sighting. Ask yourself how many times you’ve seen or heard something in the woods or elsewhere only to later find that your mind and senses deceived. I guess the figments of some people’s imaginations are just more entrenched than others. I’ve spotted many muskies that turned out to be logs, morels that were corn cobs, turkeys that were clumps of debris and fur in a trap set that was a patch of dead grass. Why once I even saw a squirrel sitting on an opossum’s head in a willow tree. Turns out the opossum is still a knot on the trunk and the squirrels come and go.

Monkey Suit – You’d have to be nuts or bulletproof in some locations but it is entirely within the realm of possibility that some fool would don a fur suit and run around the woods. Coupled with today’s special effects and computer graphics one could certainly conjure up a credible sighting. To me, one of the major drawbacks of such a scenario is the inability of people to keep a secret. If it involves more than a couple individuals, somebody’s got a big mouth.

Manifestation – Cultures differ in their realities based on tradition and experience. Some Pacific Northwest Native American tribes view Sasquatch as an entity just as real as the bear, cougar or deer that inhabit their environment. Others incorporate various spiritual beings into their world view as well. Perhaps the rest of us have just lost touch with the ability to open our mind to such concepts as our magic resides in computers, cell phones and microwave ovens.

Mystery – We humans are a curious lot and are taken in by the unknown resulting in adherence to religion, science, the supernatural or some combination of each. But our curiosity and insecurity can lead us to fall prey to the power of suggestion and cloud our judgment. Dr. Grover Krantz offered up an apt tongue in cheek quote regarding such an affliction in stating, “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

Monkey – Large, possibly bipedal primates appear in the fossil record so it is not entirely out of the question that such species could still exist. Evolution and population dynamics, however, would make the likelihood of such animals residing in the diverse locations where sightings have been reported over the years rather slim. Small, remote pockets would stand a chance but it’s still somewhat hard to fathom.

Man – Similar to the above, perhaps a relict group of hominids has continued to survive undetected by modern man. Speaking of “modern man”, at some point we accepted the designation Homo sapiens meaning “wise man” in light of our highly developed brains and willingness to put ourselves at the top of the evolutionary ladder. If old Bigfoot is out there and stakes a claim to a nearby branch on the family tree, he might offer up a petition to change the “wise” half of our self imposed scientific name. Especially in light of some of the injustices perpetrated by “superior wise men” on “inferior wise men.”

Misnomer – Let’s say Bigfoot turns out to be “man.” How would you judge the “superior” hominid? What would the criteria be? For in my opinion, Bigfoot possesses a set of physical and mental qualities that would certainly insure his survival over ours should we ever have to revert to the wild. Most humans have long lost the ability to cut it in the absence of grocery stores, controlled climates and fancy attire. When push comes to shove, I’m betting on Bigfoot as the “superior” primate/hominid. And don’t forget that while many amongst our kind are loathe admitting it, that face staring back at you from the mirror is also an “animal.” I, for one, have no qualms with that.

In the end, I continue to waver on the question of Bigfoot’s existence. Every time I give up, something pulls me back in. I suddenly find myself transported back to 1977, staring up at that movie screen and seeing Bigfoot turn with a look over the shoulder at a ten year old kid full of wonder and perhaps a bit too charged up with gullibility. It’s a comforting place to visit, an occasional return to where anything is possible.

A place where my quest can reach a conclusion as I reach down to harvest the clump of ten morels that are just what I’d hoped to find during my previous hour of searching. One of the area’s worst mushroom hunters has finally scored, I think to myself. But I’m also reminded that the true reward is always the walk through the woods as the world welcomes spring and a palette of green about the forest canopy and floor.

Bending down for my bounty, the sound of a breaking branch snaps me out of yet another daydream. Glancing instinctively to my left, my eyes meet another set of eerily familiar, knowing eyes studying me through a nasty tangle of deadfalls and briars. Still kneeling over my initial find I slowly raise both hands, palms up in some sort of half hearted greeting. The eyes begin to climb as the figure rises from a squatting position behind its effective screen of natural camouflage. On a gut level there’s no doubt what I’m seeing yet my mind has trouble believing. Our eyes remain locked as time pauses and the sights and sounds of my surroundings fade away. When time resumes its normal course, the figure turns and gradually disappears from view leaving me to briefly wonder if it was ever really there.

Coming out of my surreal haze I realize that I’ve completely forgotten the camera in my fanny pack but it doesn’t matter and I feel no urge to pursue. Instead, I’m struck by the feeling that simply knowing is enough. Besides, my dawning senses have just informed me that I’m in dire need of a change of clothes.

Okay, a bit cheesy, perhaps. But, hey, I’ve never claimed to be a writer, I just write, a lot.

Happy Halloween and talk to you later (back to the fish and a few tunes in the upcoming days). Troy